So much for my anti-Israel vacation

How does it always come back to the same thing? There's a problem somewhere in the world; anywhere in the world. Oh, it must be the Zionists. Somehow it is always the Zionists. I don't even know what a zionist is exactly but I have no doubt that I am one of them.

I have been sitting back for the past few days enjoying the hiatus offered to me by the civil unrest in Iran. You know Iran? It's the country that Obama has reached out to be friends with -- he's extended the olive branch of peace and goodwill because well, it is a democratic country, he says. That Obama, he really has his finger on the pulse of world politics.

While I have been following the Iran situation, I haven't followed it with the intensity I save for matters that concern Israel and the Jewish people. However, I can see by today's headlines that my vacation is over because according to the Iranian ayatollahs this civil unrest was caused by you know who ... correct ... The Dirty Zionists.

Until today I could have sworn that this upheaval in Iran was caused by the ayatollahs' manipulation of the supposedly-democratic national election results. I thought it had to do with the "sore" looser and his majority of Iranian followers insisting that the vote was rigged. I thought it was related to the fact that the pro-Western majority -- mostly younger people -- were fed up with living under an oppressive regime. Obviously I spend too much time thinking.

How did I go so wrong? How did I manage to overlook the obvious. It was the DZs.

What did the DZs do to cause all of this political upheaval? Didn't you know that we are behind the recent charges that the elections were rigged? Well, I guess we are all surprised. Apparently I am not reading the weekly DZ newsletter carefully enough.

Oh, and in case that isn't enough to blame on us today, why stop there? It has now been announced that the DZs are in cahoots with Pepsi -- which apparently is an acronym for Pay Every Penny to Support Israel. Yes, some very clever Muslim clerics in Egypt figured it out in their free time and then spread the word to their ignorant followers. Some people really do have too much free time on their hands.

I feel bad for Pepsi actually because I haven't had a Pepsi drink since 1978 when I learned that Pepsi forsook Israel in favour of the Arab world.

The Arabs had given the ultimatum to Pepsi and Coke that if they sold their products to Israel, they would be boycotted in the Arab countries. Pepsi chose the Arabs and I chose to never drink Pepsi products ever again. With almost no exceptions I have not had a Pepsi product in 31 years. And now, Pepsi -- after choosing sides very definitively all those years ago -- is being accused of Israeli bias. I always say that what goes around comes around, and I really believe that. But I don't always expect things to come around on a timely basis.

Oh, you can get a Pepsi in Israel now, but they will never be the presence that Coke is here. To me, Pepsi and Arabs are connected forever. Of course, the Arabs have conveniently forgotten all of this now. Friendship is a particularly temporary state for them.

So now I have to pack up my novel that I was reading for fun, and get back to paying attention. There really is no rest for the wicked ... which apparently means the Zionists.